Trader Ho's

I set out yesterday afternoon in search of "groceries". I've been making an attempt, for some time now, to eat healthier food, which typically entails brining lunch to the office and eating dinner at home (healthier and cheaper). So after my first attempt a few weeks back to find Trader Joe's on 14th (yes, it's right on 14th but for some reason, I failed to go east of 4th ave the first time and thus ended up at Whole Foods), I finally made it back some time around 4:30 yesterday afternoon.

The first initial entrance into this place leads you to several conclusions: 1) It's crowded... and not that typical "oh everything in New York is crowded but we all just deal with it" type of crowded... This place is Tokyo-subway type of crowded. 2) It's small, despite also being crowded. I wrestled a basket thing away from the pile in the front and set out, not really knowing what I wanted, but thinking along the lines of "light bread, vegetables for a salad, fruit to bring to work, soy-based snacks, etc". One thing to note about Trader Joe's (unless there's a secret compartment): their produce line-up flat out SUCKS. The whole point of trying this place out was in hopes of finding better produce than Whole Foods, which has great produce, I'm sure, in any other store BUT the one on 14th. So after coming to the conclusion that I'd need to go elsewhere for produce, I decided to try and get some bread. Easier said than done. Apparently, in order for bread to be "organic", the word "light" cannot appear on the packaging, for this implies something less than organic. I don't really give a rat's ass about organic bread, but I do want something that has less than 400 calories a slice, which this crap didn't.

I proceeded to pick out some other things: organic tostito's, organic pretzels, organic something else.... Then I started to notice the people. Many people just standing around, seemingly in a line, but in places where no line should be. The checkout is at the front of the store and these people were seemingly lined up near the rear of the store.... What's going on here? Yeah, that's right, that's the line for the checkout. After further inspection, I realized that it stretched all the way around to form a complete square in the store. Quickly realizing that this is no longer worth it and probably never will be, I ditched my basket and headed out the door. I was on my way to Whole Foods when I noticed the Food Emporium across the street. No line out the door, no signs screaming "ORGANIC OR GET OUT"... This was what I needed.

Turns out, the Food Emporium had exactly what I wanted. I got (listen to this) "Whole Grain WHITE Bread".... They made white bread healthy... awesome. I also picked up some fruit and vegetables, got some iced tea mix (diet, as I don't drink "regular" soda/drinks and am trying to cut back on diet soda in general), "Light" Tostitos, with 1/3 calories, Febreeze (I ran out and you'd be surprised what you can use this crap for), and some other stuff. The best part about the trip was that I felt like I was in a real grocery store. Most places in the city feel like an oversized corner store or are "ORGANIC OR GET OUT" establishments, which are too annoying sometimes.

So if any of you are looking for a supermarket experience that you remember before moving to the city (most of you have all lived in some suburb somewhere), I recommend Food Emporium. Name sounds a little ghetto, but I was pleasantly surprised. I've yet to figure out why stores like Trader Joe's and Whole Foods do so well in this city when you literally have to cook/prepare (almost) everything you get from these places and NONE OF US has a normal kitchen for this preparation... I just don't get it.